If you’ve had something happen in your past that you’re embarrassed to share, or feel ashamed of — when is a good time to share it in a new relationship? We’ll cover different scenarios in this article, and how and when to share the details.
Sharing sensitive information — perhaps a failed relationship, financial hardship or a traumatic experience — too soon can lead to an uncomfortable encounter with your new man…
But when you get the timing right, sharing your past, especially your past trauma, can deepen the connection and take you both to incredible new levels of trust, love and security in the relationship.
Today, I’m going to share a framework that can help you determine if it’s the right time to bring up certain information, and what you can say if it’s not.
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Let’s dive in…
The 3 R’s to Communicating Sensitive Information
There are 3 R’s you can follow that will help you determine if it’s the right time to share something:
The first is “Relevance”
Think about when it is relevant for a man to know this information. If you don’t know you’re going to see him beyond that night, it’s not relevant to share your personal information.
You do NOT OWE anyone any personal information you don’t feel comfortable sharing. It only becomes relevant if you plan on progressing the relationship.
Likewise, if you have an STD, It’s not relevant until you know you want to sleep with a man, and/or you know you want to be in a committed relationship with him.
The second is “Respect”
Have you built enough trust with this man that you know he’s going to respect you and safeguard your heart when receiving this information?
That means he’s not going to judge you, but instead have compassion and understanding for you. Before the moment you share your most vulnerable news, ask yourself whether he has demonstrated that he will protect your heart.
Related: 5 Signs He’s Emotionally Healthy
The third is “Roots”
Has the relationship got enough roots to survive this information? The roots are the connection you have with one another, and the strength of the love you share.
If you have a deep connection and strong love, you can overcome anything. If the information has come to a point where it’s relevant, and you know he will safeguard your heart by respecting you, chances are you have some good roots developed in this relationship.
What’s the Right Time to Share Past Trauma in A Relationship?
With these three R’s, you should be able to determine if you’re going to be comfortable sharing something personal, and if your new man is going to be able to accept it and move forward.
If you decide that perhaps now isn’t the right time to share those intimate details, and you want to learn how to deepen your connection with your man first, I encourage you to check out my Manifest Your Man program.
Inside we’ll delve deep into the inner workings of communicating effectively with your man, building a strong foundation and forming deep connections to build the relationship of your dreams.
Next, we’ll discuss a simple response you can use if a man asks you a personal question that you aren’t comfortable sharing…
The Perfect Response
Let’s imagine some scenarios that may feel uncomfortable to bring up on a date. Say you have kids, and the father is not in your lives anymore, or perhaps you’re going through some financial difficulties at the moment and times are tough…
What if he asks about it?
“Where is the father?”, “What’s your financial situation?”
The perfect response is to simply tell your new man:
“The details are personal for me. So if this develops into something special that we both want to pursue, then I’m happy to share it with you. But for now, let’s focus on you and me.”
The right guy will happily accept your request and will likely apologize for bringing it up too soon.
A Free Tool to Get You Through
This framework can bring some clarity about how to handle tricky situations, like trauma, in your new relationship.
If you’re feeling nervous, uncomfortable or frustrated with yourself, I encourage you to check out my Self Love Activation Kit.
Inside, you’ll find everything you need to boost your mood, free yourself from guilt and blame, and fill up with the confidence you need to make an incredible relationship happen.
This kit is designed to skyrocket your self esteem and help you radiate the natural feminine glow that high-quality men are drawn to!
Now let me ask you, what are the best ways you’ve discovered to share your past or your trauma with a new man or in a new relationship?
Help our community of women and share your thoughts below!