Brave Thinking Institute

  • MainMenu
  • Call us at 800-914-6958
  • Life &
    Transformation
    • Home
    • Programs
    • Events
    • Resources
    • Blog
    • Our Faculty
    • Success Stories
    • Careers
  • Love &
    Relationships
    • Home
    • Programs
    • Resources
    • Blog
    • Our Faculty
    • Careers
  • Business &
    Leadership
    • Home
    • Programs
    • Events
    • Blog
    • Our Faculty
    • Careers
  • Health &
    Well-Being
    • Home
    • Programs
    • Events & Retreats
    • Resources
    • Blog
    • Our Faculty
    • Careers
  • Life Coach
    Certification
    • Home
    • Programs
    • Events
    • Resources
    • Blog
    • Our Faculty
    • Success Stories
    • Careers
  • Log In
  • Event
    Calendar
  • Home
  • Programs
  • Resources
  • Blog
  • Our Faculty
  • Log In

How to Answer When a Guy Talks About Sex Too Early in the Relationship

By: Mat Boggs
Updated: June 1, 2021
Comments: 0
Shares:

How to Answer When a Guy Talks About Sex Too Early in the Relationship

You like this guy, but he’s moving too quickly and you feel a little uncomfortable. What do you do? 

This happened recently for one of my coaching clients. She met a great guy online and they got on well. But after he had asked her out for a date, she noticed that the conversation was starting to get a little bit too sexual. 

He would say things like,

“Hey, maybe after our date, we can come back to my place and hang out?” And she thought, “Hmm, he’s not overstepping the line… but maybe he’s expecting sex straight away.” 

If you’re in the same boat, I’ve got a simple, 3-step formula you can use to slow things down to a pace you feel comfortable with… while keeping the attraction as high as you want! 

And if you’d prefer to watch and listen rather than read, check out the video version here:

Still with me?

Here’s the 3 step formula for when a guy you like talks about sex too early…

1. Affirm interest in him: “I’m really enjoying our connection.”

The first thing to do is affirm your interest in him. This means sharing that you like him, and are enjoying the connection. The reason for doing this is that it lets him know you’re not completely turned off or disgusted by what he’s saying. You’re just going to tell him that the timing isn’t right. 

So when you find yourself needing to address his behavior, you can start by saying something like,

“Hey, I’m really enjoying the connection we’re sharing,” or “I’m really enjoying my conversations with you, but…”

This enables you to follow with a rejection of his advances without him feeling like the connection is going nowhere. 

2. Set The Boundary: “The conversation is getting a bit sexual for this early on”

After you’ve affirmed your interest by saying you’re enjoying your time with him, follow up with something like:

“… And this is getting a bit too sexual for me right now.”

This let’s him know that you’re not completely against the idea of being sexual, it’s just that it’s too early on for you to feel comfortable about it. 

When you frame the rejection in this way, you’re basically reassuring him that you would like things to progress in that direction, but only when the timing is right for you.

Related: The 7 Things Men Desperately Want In a Relationship

This demonstrates that you’re a strong woman who respects her own boundaries and that you’re looking for a man who can treat you with the respect you deserve.

3. Set Expectations: “I reserve sex for someone with whom I’m in a committed relationship.”   

After setting the boundary, the next step is to say something along the lines of:

“I appreciate the thought, but this is something I save for someone I’ve been on many more dates with” OR “…something I reserve for when I’m in a committed relationship.”

After you’ve followed these 3 steps and confirmed he has the correct expectations, you can finish with:

“Do you still want to meet up?”

This is a powerful step because it shows him that there’s no reason to be embarrassed and that if he earns the right to have a committed relationship with you, then it’s game on! In his mind, he’s now clear that you can have an amazing sexual relationship together, but only when the timing is right for you. 

Most of the time when you say “do you still want to meet up?”, he’ll respond with an apology followed by “absolutely, I still want to meet!” He can see that you’re a high value woman who has clear boundaries and is worth waiting for.

So there you have the 3 steps that enable you to slow down his advances while still keeping him interested in you. 

If you want more guidance on this, or you feel you need additional support on finding a high quality man who respects your needs… 

I encourage you to check out my Manifest Your Man program. In the program we go deep into the hardwired psychological triggers that all men need to fall in love. Learning these will enable you to create effortless attraction and connection, and have a great guy chasing after you!

A Caution Before Taking Action…

This 3 step formula isn’t to be used for guys who are clearly just in it for sex. If you notice that’s all he’s interested in (and you don’t want that same thing), then I encourage you to just cut that guy loose. 

These 3 steps are only to be used for the guy who you have a great connection with, and who genuinely expresses emotional interest in you. The guy who actually wants to work towards building a connection, but just talks about sex too early or starts to get a little bit too sexual early on.

Related: What Men Need In Order To Commit To You 

When used the right way, with the right guy, this 3 step formula is the perfect way to make sure the pacing of the relationship is where it feels comfortable for you, without discouraging his feelings.

Now my question for you is “What do you do to slow things down, but still keep the attraction high?”

Go ahead and post that in the comment section below. Here’s to your amazing love life!

Tweet
Share
Share
Pin
0 Shares

About Mat Boggs

Mat Boggs

Mat Boggs is known by many as one of the world’s leading experts in the areas of love and relationships. Through his revolutionary coaching programs, “Cracking the Man Code,” Mat Boggs has helped millions of women around the world attract true love and create fulfilling relationships that last. He has also built a highly successful coaching business, written a best-selling book, shared the stage with some of the industry’s biggest names like Jack Canfield, Les Brown, Bob Proctor, and Brendon Burchard, and been featured on The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, and more.

Learn More About Mat Boggs

Related Articles

Lessons in Gratitude: The 3 Levels in Healthy Relationships

May 16, 2022

The Secret for Dealing with Difficult In-Laws

April 25, 2022

3 Texts to Send a Guy to Make Him Miss You Like Crazy

3 Texts To Send A Guy To Make Him Miss You Like Crazy

May 17, 2018

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

All Resources for Love & Relationships Sidebar

RECENT BLOG POSTS

  • Lessons in Gratitude: The 3 Levels in Healthy Relationships

    Lessons in Gratitude: The 3 Levels in Healthy Relationships

  • The Secret for Dealing with Difficult In-Laws

    The Secret for Dealing with Difficult In-Laws

  • How to Tell Him What You Want… (and get it)

    How to Tell Him What You Want… (and get it)

  • The Impact of Social Media on Your Personal Relationships

    The Impact of Social Media on Your Personal Relationships

CATEGORIES

  • Life & Transformation
  • Love & Relationships
  • Business & Leadership
  • Health & Well-Being
  • Life Coach Certification
When Man Ignores You LR Supplemental Sidebar Opt-In
9 Flirty Texts LR Supplemental Sidebar Opt-In
  • Find us on Facebook
  • Find us on Twitter
  • Find us on Instagram
  • Find us on LinkedIn
  • Find us on YouTube

Topics of Interest

  • Life & Transformation
  • Love & Relationships
  • Business & Leadership
  • Health & Well-Being
  • Life Coach Certification

Learn More

  • Programs
  • Events
  • Resources
  • Blog
  • Meet The Faculty

More Support

  • Contact Us
  • Speaking Requests
  • Log In
  • Become an Affiliate
  • Careers

Our vision is to help you bring your biggest dream into reality. As stipulated by law, we cannot and do not make any guarantees about your ability to get results or earn any money with our ideas, information, tools or strategies. Your results are completely up to you, your level of awareness, expertise, the action you take and the service you provide to others. Any testimonials, financial numbers mentioned in emails or referenced on any of our web pages should not be considered exact, actual or as a promise of potential earnings – all numbers are illustrative only, as I’m sure you understand. That being said, we believe in you and we are here to support you in making the changes you want for your life and giving you methods, strategies, and ideas that will help move you in the direction of your dream.

Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use

Life Coaching Programs and Coaching Certification by LifeSOULutions That Work®, LLC ©. All Rights Reserved.
31441 Santa Margarita Pkwy, #A-364, Rancho Santa Margarita, CA 92688