Ever wondered, “What do men want in a relationship, anyway?”
Here are 7 things he definitely wants, but may be too unaware or embarrassed to ask for.
Occasionally, the man in your life will want things that he won’t share with you because he either doesn’t know how to ask… or he’s simply just too embarrassed to ask!
But by applying the action steps I’ve outlined below, you’ll be more easily able to understand what he’s looking for, strengthen your connection to each other, and continue to create the healthy relationship you want and deserve!
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7 things that men want in a relationship, but that they don’t usually verbally ask for
1. He wants you to be happy.
After interviewing hundreds of couples who’ve been married over 40 years, I’ve often heard men say, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”
The bottom line is that your man wants you to be happy. In fact, to him, your happiness is a direct reflection of his effectiveness and sense of worth as a man.
So if you’re not happy, don’t be surprised if he starts to get restless, tries to fix whatever he thinks you may be unhappy about, or just flat out avoids you until it seems like you’re happy again.
Remember: Your happiness is key to his happiness!
2. He wants you to take interest in his interests.
Your man loves when you’re interested in what he’s passionate about. Those interests could be his favorite sports team, a hobby that he loves or his job.
Of course, you don’t have to be interested in everything he’s interested in, but when you start to show interest in anything he loves, you will strengthen the bond and a connection between you.
A buddy of mine is an avid football fan, and he loves the Steelers. One Sunday, he called his long-distance girlfriend and asked her what she was doing. She replied, “What do you mean, what am I doing? I’m getting ready for the Steelers game!”
He told me he couldn’t believe that she was actually getting ready for the game, and that he felt his heart connect to her because she was passionate about something that he was passionate about.
When you connect to something he loves, the love that he has for that thing connects to you!
3. He wants you to initiate sex.
To most men, sex is the path to the deepest emotional connection possible. It’s the ultimate means of expressing and receiving love.
He wants to feel like you want him, and not just because he wants the physical release of sex, but because you wanting him shows that you love him as deeply as he loves you.
So go ahead and be bold… surprise him! Come out of the bathroom in some sexy lingerie!
By initiating sex, you let your man know, in the clearest way possible, that you love him and that you want him to love you.
4. Your man wants to be praised and acknowledged.
The answer to, “What do men want in a relationship?” is actually pretty simple…
What he craves most is praise and acknowledgement that indicate he’s doing a good job as your man!
This can be something as simple as a single sentence like, “Babe, thank you so much for picking up dinner tonight. I really appreciate that.”
Or you can praise him for an everyday common experience. For example, the next time he gives you a hug, whisper in his ear and say, “Babe, did you know that you give the best hugs in the world?” You’ll most likely see his chest physically swell right in front of your eyes.
Remember this: a man’s sense of self expands under the light of your praise.
5. He wants you to encourage him to adventure.
Men are often conditioned to believe that women want way more time together than they do… and that if he asks for time away, your feelings will be hurt.
But you and I both know that that’s not true!
You want your independence just as much as he does, am I right? You probably want your solo time or time with the girlfriends just as much as he wants his solo time or time with the boys.
So you can simply say, “Hey babe, I’ve got Sunday brunch with my girlfriends this Sunday. Why don’t you go and have a boys day?”
When you encourage him to go get some guy time or go do something else that he loves, he’s going to love that! That type of freedom actually creates a desire in him to invest even more time with you.
6. He wants your confidence in him.
Again, this is something that’ll probably be very difficult for him to ask you for.
You showing that you have full confidence in him is as simple as giving him a task, and then letting him complete the task for you in any way he sees fit.
Sometimes for example, a woman will ask her man to take her on a date, and then she’ll try to control every aspect, including which restaurant they go to, how to get there and where to park!
Or she’ll ask her man to take care of the dishes after dinner, but then as he’s rinsing them off and putting them in the dishwasher, she’ll rearrange the dishes and unnecessarily micromanage the situation.
When you criticize the way he completes tasks, he will feel like you don’t trust him to actually provide for you. But by allowing him to accomplish the task on his own, you show that you have faith in his abilities… and by showing faith in his abilities, you show faith in him.
7. He wants your respect.
When I traveled 12,000 miles around the United States interviewing America’s most successful married couples, RESPECT was the number one principle that all these couples talked about.
But how do you know that you and your man respect each other?
Respect shows up in the little things. It shows up in the way you listen to one another, show up on time and keep your agreements.
You’ll know you’re in a respectful relationship when you honor each other’s differences, the fact that you don’t like the same things, or that you don’t have the same opinions all the time.
Respect also means you’re courteous to one another by saying please and thank you.
I remember that one of the things that just absolutely blew my mind about my wife when we were dating was how respectful she was, and how she never let the little things go by without showing appreciation.
Even after we got married, we’d go out to dinner and after I’d pay the bill she’d say, “Thank you for dinner, honey.” And she’d give me a big kiss! The simple fact that she showed her appreciation showed that she respected me. It was a big deal and it went a long way, and it still does.
What are some ways you can show respect to your man? Because he most likely really does want your respect, even if he never directly asks you for it!
So if you’ve ever wondered, “What do men want in a relationship?” Remember this…
Even though he may never verbally say so, your man wants you to be happy, interested in his interests and to show you want him by initiating sex at times.
He also deeply wants to be praised, acknowledged and respected by you, to encourage him to adventure, and to be confident in him and his abilities!
Do these seven things in your relationship, and your man will find you downright irresistible and irreplaceable!
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