After coaching thousands of people from all over the world over the past decade I have found some simple yet highly effective ways to increase the joy and happiness you allow yourself to experience.
What is blocking joy from your life?
So, what does block you and me from experiencing the fullness of our JOY?
Often times, especially for women, we put everyone’s needs and everything else on our “to-do” list in front of our own simple pleasures.
And we don’t realize the long-term impact of this over the course of years.
I experienced this when I first started having children.
All of a sudden, I had another human being who was 100% dependent on me for survival.
I quickly learned however, if I didn’t get in my shower (my daughter cried bloody murder when I put her down – she was happiest glued to my body for the first 3 months of her life), that I was unhappy and not the mother I could be.
I use the above example because it’s literally little things like this that steal our JOY.
Like forgoing that shower when we have a crying newborn, or giving up lunch when you are trying to meet a deadline at work, or canceling cocktails with the girls because we have a sick child or elderly parent at home.
So what are we to do then?
Here’s what I’ve learned.
I have learned to create an imaginary “pie chart” in my mind of everyone and everything that pulls at my attention for the day.
Then I put MYSELF in the center of that imaginary “pie chart”.
If I don’t do this, inevitably, everyone and everything else gets time and attention from me and then there’s nothing left over.
I can too often end my day feeling irritated at everyone and unhappy, or at the very least, really depleted.
So, here’s one helpful solution.
I put myself in the center of the pie chart and I ask myself as I head into my busy day,
“How can I take care of my needs and personal desires today in advance, with ease, fun and joy?”
This is an especially important question to ask on really full, busy days.
Just by asking this question I source ideas that often pleasantly surprise me, and I end up experiencing a much greater sense of JOY and fulfillment throughout, and by the end of my day.
Some of the ideas that help me refuel and feel a sense of JOY are simple pleasures like:
- I pack a healthy snack or lunch, and even throw in something fun, like low sugar dark chocolate
- I get my favorite organic almond milk latte (brought to me by a loved one or co-worker)
- 5 minutes of stretching or moving on a day where I might have canceled my workout for the day
- Pushing pause on work and going for a 10-minute walk
- 5 minutes of mindful meditation
- A long hot bath with bubbles and bath salts
- Asking for a little more 4-play from hubby, (when I need it), instead of focusing only on his pleasure.
- Saying NO to projects or people pulling at me, when I can feel deep down in my gut that by saying yes I would be “over giving”, and instead rescheduling that time & energy to focus on myself and my needs.
Here’s a helpful little visualization.
Bring to mind your favorite child, a relative you adore, or really important work project, or VIP client.
Imagine the ways you speak to or about this person or project, and how you invest your time, energy, thoughts, and feelings.
Now, what if you treated yourself and your needs as important as this favorite child or relative, or work project, or VIP client?
How would you treat yourself?
What would you do to go out of your way to make sure “YOU” felt your dedication, caring and love?
If we truly felt like we were a royal God or Goddess, worthy of our time and attention, worthy of being pampered, would we create that in our lives more often?
Remember that treating yourself well doesn’t have to take a lot of time or energy.
Adding simple pleasures and fun in 5-minute increments can make a much bigger difference than you think at the end of the day, week, month and year.
It’s the little things that add up over time.
When you begin to think this way, you begin to bring more JOY and laughter and play into your life.
Now, please share with me below:
What’s something you do to treat yourself well, even something small, that leaves you feeling a sense of joy in your life?