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6 Undeniable Signs He Only Wants Sex and Doesn’t Love You

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By: Mat Boggs
Updated: September 22, 2021

It’s only natural to want an emotional connection & a real relationship with your man. But is that what HE wants? In this article, discover how to identify the hidden signs he only wants sex from you … So you can avoid wasting your time on the wrong guy!

Ever felt like something was missing from your relationship with your new man? Maybe it feels like he’s not as committed or ‘into’ the relationship as you thought he would be…

Perhaps you’ve been wondering “How do you know if a guy just wants you sexually?? How can I tell if he only wants sex? What are his true feelings? Is he only here for a one-night stand?”

If that’s the case, you might have had some intuition that his intentions might not be to develop an emotional connection or long-term relationship at all! 

6 Undeniable Signs He Only Wants Sex and Doesn't Love You

While nothing is wrong with a man wanting physical attraction, or playing with sexual conversation, some men try to hide their true desires… wasting the time of women who want more!

In this article, I’ll reveal 6 blaring red flags that will explain how to know if he’s uninterested in deeper intimacy and only wants sex from the relationship.

Before we get into it, if you’d prefer to watch and listen rather than read, you can check out the video version of this article here:

Still with me? Let’s dive right in and discover how to know if he only wants a casual relationship and if he just wants sex from you…

How To Tell If He Only Wants Sex

He Uses Sexual Phrases In His Dating Profile

In today’s world, a lot of dating happens online, and dating apps can tell us a lot about a man’s intentions. Be on the lookout for overt, obvious sexual phrasing like “Looking for a woman who is DTF”, “Looking for FWB (friends with benefits).” These types of phrases are clear red flags if you want a man who you can share a deep emotional connection with. 

Sometimes though, the sexual phrasing isn’t obvious on a dating profile. You also need to be aware of covert phrases that may suggest a lack of emotional commitment, such as: “Just looking to have fun”,  “See how things go”, “Just being in the moment”, or “Keeping things casual.” 

These are the more subtle clues and signs he just wants casual sex or a casual hookup and his intentions in a relationship might not be aligned with yours. If you spot either a subtle or overt phrase in his profile, know that you’ve found a red flag, and you should likely avoid this man if you want to save yourself from disappointment and frustration.

His Texts Get Sexual Super Early

Now some men, especially with years of experience behind them, will be much more subtle on their online profiles and will have learned not to share particular phrasing. But one of the biggest signs and key red flags they’re only interested in a sexual relationship is if they get super sexual early in a conversation. 

These types of guys don’t want to waste their time with deeper conversation topics. They want to figure out what you’ll permit as soon as possible! They will try to create sexual chemistry right away by asking questions like: “What’s your favorite position?”, “Can you send me a sexy picture?”, “Do you like my body?”

In these situations, you need to let him know your boundaries around sex and physical intimacy. This doesn’t have to be an awkward conversation, you can simply reply with something like “Don’t get me wrong, you’re highly attractive, but these are the type of conversations I reserve for when someone becomes my boyfriend.” 

By responding in this way, you demonstrate that you’re looking for a committed relationship. If he aligns with that, he will stick around and take the connection to a deeper level. If not, he will move on (and you’ve saved yourself some heart-ache)!

He Only Sees You On His Terms

“How do I know if a guy only wants me sexually?” Think about his level of commitment! If you’ve started dating, notice how much he’s willing to commit to you. In other words, does he make the effort to impress you and make you feel special?

If you notice that he always wants you to drive to his side of town, or he’s not willing to meet in the middle, or he wants to meet up late night after he’s done seeing his buddies, you’ll know he’s not emotionally committed, and probably doesn’t want an intimate relationship.

Watch out for these red flags, these are clear signs he only wants sex. If you find yourself in this situation, know that the phenomenal man who truly wants to have a thriving, intimate, emotional connection with you, will go out of his way to make you happy and feeling special! 

It Always Gets Sexual 

Another way to know if a guy just wants you sexually is to assess your date-time with him. When you’re hanging out with your new man, does it always end up getting sexual? Did he just want sex on the first date? Do you ever have intimate dates that aren’t physical? Or do all your attempts to connect somehow lead to him mentioning the bedroom? 

The guy who only wants a casual relationship isn’t interested in you, or having deeper conversations, and this is a clear sign he isn’t aligned with your intentions for a relationship. You’ll notice this misalignment if he doesn’t ask you many questions, doesn’t share much about his own life, and sticks to surface level, flirty conversation. 

If getting your clothes off seems to be the first and last thing on his mind, you can be pretty certain you have the answer to the question “How do I know if a guy only wants me sexually?” The guy who truly wants more than a casual relationship will be thinking long term about spending quality time together and settling down, not just how to get you into bed!

He Shuts Down When You Tell Him No

How to know if he doesn’t want a relationship? Tell him “No” any time of day and see his reaction… This is a test that’s extremely revealing of what’s most important to him. 

How he responds will give you everything you need to know if he just wants sex or a physical relationship. When you tell him you’re not ready to have sex, is he angry, frustrated, or distant? A guy who’s in a relationship for more than just sex is going to respect your decision and will be willing to wait until you’re comfortable because he doesn’t want to ruin the chance of building a great bond with you. 

Sure, it’s natural for a guy to get disappointed if he was thinking it was going to happen and then is surprised when you say no… But if his reaction seems extreme, or particularly cold, this is a red flag and a clear sign that he could be using you for sex.

If you believe your man does genuinely care for you, and you don’t want to disappoint him by saying no, you can help him understand your expectations by telling him what your standard for sex is before things get hot and heavy! This way, he won’t have any misunderstanding about how quickly to progress things. If he truly respects you and the relationship, he will appreciate you setting boundaries.

He TELLS you he only wants sex!

Now I know this one sounds pretty self explanatory, but most women never ASK their man what his intentions are. Sometimes, even if a woman does ask her man about his intentions and he says he just wants sex, she doesn’t think he means it! 

The key here is to make sure you ASK him what he wants from a relationship, and then BELIEVE what he says. This way you avoid all the guesswork, and the research you’re doing now on “signs he only wants sex from me”, and hopefully you’ll get a clear, honest answer!

One way you can do this is by making use of what I like to call, the magic wand question! Simply ask your man, “If I gave you a magic wand, and you could create anything you wanted for your love life, what would that look like?”

In this way, you’re detached from the outcome, and it seems as though you’re just asking an interesting conversation question. When asked this question, your man will likely let his guard down, not realizing that what he says will reveal a lot about his desires. 

In this way, you’ll gain clarity about his ideals, and that will help you decide if his values are a match for yours, or if he only wants sex not a relationship!

If He Just Wants Casual Sex, What Do You Do?

Perhaps by now you’ve discovered some clear signs your boyfriend only wants sex. If that’s the case, you now have an important choice to make; to stay with him, or to move on to someone new, who wants more than a sexual relationship!

Whatever you decide, know that there is a phenomenal guy out there for you, someone who loves you and cares for you deeply, in the way that you’ve always hoped for. So instead of searching the internet for “signs he only wants sex from you”, or “how to tell if he just wants a casual relationship”, you’ll be searching for a new wedding dress instead!

I’ve committed my life’s work to helping women just like you to find the partner of their dreams, so if you feel like you need help moving forward with your next steps (whether that’s into a new relationship, or working on your current one), I have a special invitation for you… 

I invite you today to take a look at my transformational program Manifest Your Man!

This is my high-level coaching program that will teach you how to find the love of your dreams and build a thriving, rock-solid relationship for the rest of your life. To learn more about this program and find out how to create the love life you’ve always longed for, book a call with one of our program experts here! They will answer any and all questions you may have, including any questions you have from this article about how to tell if a guy just wants you sexually.

Now I’d love to hear from you…

What signs have you noticed that show a man just wants sex? Is there any wisdom or warning signs you can share with our community to help other women looking for love? Share in the comments below!

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About Mat Boggs

Mat Boggs

Mat Boggs is known by many as one of the world’s leading experts in the areas of love and relationships. Through his revolutionary coaching programs, “Cracking the Man Code,” Mat Boggs has helped millions of women around the world attract true love and create fulfilling relationships that last. He has also built a highly successful coaching business, written a best-selling book, shared the stage with some of the industry’s biggest names like Jack Canfield, Les Brown, Bob Proctor, and Brendon Burchard, and been featured on The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, and more.

Learn More About Mat Boggs

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