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One Rare Question to Instantly Transform Your Relationship

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By: Mat Boggs
Updated: April 28, 2021

Sometimes the smallest actions have the biggest impact in relationships…

Often all we need to feel completely reassured and at ease in a relationship is something small — like a kiss, a hug, or hearing someone say “I love you”. 

And it’s the power of those little things that we’re going to talk about today!

First, I’m going to share a story with you that could change your outlook on the ‘small things’ forever…

Then, I’ll share a simple question you can ask to completely transform your relationship.

First, let’s dive into the story…

I had a client some time ago (for the sake of the story, we’ll call her Sarah), enrolled in my high-level coaching program Manifest Your Man. As part of the program, we focus on forgiveness work. Part of that journey is learning to forgive the past and open your heart. 

Sarah told me early on that her mom would never say “I love you”. Even to this day, when they were both adults.

And now, with Sarah in her 60’s, her mom was in a nursing home, health declining. 

So I had Sarah go through her forgiveness work, much of which centered around feelings of her mom not being there for her.

She felt like her mom had not protected her in the way she needed, and she always felt unloved in the relationship because her mom never said “I love you” or showed affection. 

Prefer to watch a video about this content? Click below!

It was important to tackle this because resentment or negative feelings from the past can actually damage your chance of finding and attracting a phenomenal guy in the present!

These feelings are often the root cause of limiting subconscious beliefs such as “I’ll never find love, it’s too late now”, or “Men are all the same”. 

That’s why it was so important for Sarah to learn to let go of the negative and move forward.

And over time, I’m pleased to say that she did learn to release the negative feelings associated with her mom.

And here’s where the miracle began!

As she went through this process, her heart opened. She began spending more time with her mom and she even decided to start hugging her and saying “I love you mom”.  

A month or two passed with her keeping up this practice, and unfortunately, the mom’s health continued to decline. But after some time, there was an incredible breakthrough…

The daughter went to see her mom one day, had a nice chat and then got up to leave.

As she was leaving she leaned down to give her mom a hug, like she normally did. But this time when she said “I love you”, her mom clung on tight, pulled her in close, and whispered in her ear, “I love you too my daughter.” 

That was the first time that she had heard her mom say “I love you”!  

This moment of gratitude and love came from a beautiful place of courageous vulnerability, a place of generous giving and love.

Sarah walked away from that experience powerfully reminded that the ‘small things’ truly matter. 

Not only do the small things help others to see and appreciate the effort you put in, but they also help you release any negative emotions you have towards that person. 

One rare question that will transform your relationship - Dating Advice for Women

When you learn to release the emotions holding you back, relationships will flow, amazing connections will form and you’ll be amazed at the transformation in your love life!

Tool to transform your relationship

With this incredible story in mind, I’d like to introduce you to a question that can ignite more love and joy in any relationship, provided you can use it regularly.

The question is this: 

“Is there anything I can do or say that would make you feel more loved today?”

Sounds simple right?

But the power of this will blow you away. 

I asked my wife this question the other day and she looked at me and said she had been hoping for a really long hug all day.

Sometimes it’s the little things that have a huge impact. You never know what someone could be needing or hoping from you until you ask them!

For now, I challenge you to use the question above with a loved one TODAY. You might be surprised at how much it transforms your relationships… and your entire life!

Taking it a step further…

If you want to go even deeper into this practice, and to work on your own forgiveness work like my client in the story, I encourage you to check out my Self Love Activation Kit.

Designed to help you fill your heart with joy, confidence and love so you can be open to incredible relationships. 

Post in the comments below, what things has a partner done or said that made you feel more loved? Share what has helped transform your relationship with us!

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About Mat Boggs

Mat Boggs

Mat Boggs is known by many as one of the world’s leading experts in the areas of love and relationships. Through his revolutionary coaching programs, “Cracking the Man Code,” Mat Boggs has helped millions of women around the world attract true love and create fulfilling relationships that last. He has also built a highly successful coaching business, written a best-selling book, shared the stage with some of the industry’s biggest names like Jack Canfield, Les Brown, Bob Proctor, and Brendon Burchard, and been featured on The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, and more.

Learn More About Mat Boggs

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Comments

  1. Aishat

    December 19, 2025 at 2:19 pm

    It is good

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