Why do men pull away? I’m sharing 2 reasons men act distant in a relationship and a 3-step plan you can follow when that happens.
When a guy pulls back or acts distant, it can be incredibly confusing. It leaves you with so many questions.
Does he still like me?
Is he still interested?
Was it something that I did wrong?
Men act distant for a few reasons. Having a plan for how to respond when your guy pulls back will give you the confidence you need to handle the situation with confidence and class.
Having a plan is important because there are so many emotions involved when men pull their energy back this way. You don’t want to give in to panic and react in a way that will push him even further away!
That’s why I’m going to give you that plan. And it’s just three steps. It’s easy to learn. I won’t say simple because simple and easy are two different things. But it is manageable, if you want the kind of relationship that will really make you happy.
Men Pull Away for 2 Reasons
There are two REAL reasons that men pull away. Yes, only two.
It sometimes feels like there are a million reasons that a man might pull back or stop communicating. But the truth of why men pull away boils down to one of two things.
The good news is, regardless of the reason he’s acting distant, your response should be exactly the same. The three-step plan doesn’t change. You can remain confident in your ability to handle the situation regardless of the details! But more on that in a second…
What are the two reasons?
Reason Number One: He’s Just Not That into You
I want to keep it real with you. This is not the bad thing we make it out to be, especially if what you want is a healthy relationship.
With reason number one, he’s thinking, “This probably isn’t for me”.
And that’s okay. Afterall, you don’t want to be with a guy who’s losing interest in amazing, beautiful, worthy-of-an-amazing-love-life you!
You want a guy who knows your worth. A guy who is crazy about being with you and loves the person he is when he’s around you. You don’t want to settle for anything less than that.
You need to know if he’s into you before investing more in the relationship. So, if your guy is acting distant because he’s thinking that you aren’t for him, he’s saved you a lot of time.
You can let him go, knowing that it will make it easier for you to find the right guy.
Reason Number Two: He’s Contemplating the Next Level
When a man is contemplating taking a relationship in a more serious direction, he often pulls away. This isn’t a bad thing.
He’s asking himself where the relationship is going.
Do I want to commit more fully?
Is this the woman I want to marry?
This internal process is something that many men go through when they want to get clear about how they feel and what they really want.
During this time, he’s asking himself several questions.
How do I feel about her?
How do I feel about myself when I’m around her?
Am I willing to forego other opportunities to be with her?
Do I have what it takes to make her happy?
Can I provide what I believe that she wants?
If he answers yes to all of those questions, it gives him the confidence to take it to the next level.
But in most cases, he needs space to find honest answers.
Good Men Pull Away to Think
One of my best friends was dating a girl. They had been together for a few years. Things were progressing and he was getting ready to propose.
At that moment, he got cold feet.
He went through this entire process, the same way I mentioned above.
We talked about it, and he said, “I’m going through this wild process. I’ve been totally into her these last two years. Now that I’m thinking about asking her to marry me, I’m having all of these conversations with myself.”
He had the same checklist. Men all use the same checklist. I used it before proposing to my wife, too.
If the men in your life pull away because he’s thinking about taking it to the next level, he needs that space. He needs the room to think about these questions and honestly find his answers. If he answers all yes’s, he will come right back to you!
Of course, knowing that a good man needs to pull away to think probably won’t calm your own fears when a man takes a step back with no explanation!
That’s why you need your three-step plan.
Your 3-Step Plan for Handling a Man Acting Distant
When you feel him pull away, you need a plan to follow so that you don’t overreact or lose confidence! Your plan will help you make the most of the time to give you the best chance of creating the life you both want.
Without a plan, a lot of women panic. You might worry that he’s seeing someone else or getting ready to leave. If that isn’t the real reason he’s taken a step back, you don’t want to jump to conclusions and ruin a good relationship.
You also don’t want to play manipulative games by trying to give him a taste of his own medicine.
Or pulling away from him while saying everything is “fine”.
Or seeing someone else when that’s not really what you want.
None of those things will move you in the direction of the amazing, loving relationship your heart truly desires.
Follow this plan, instead.
1 – Build the Inner Belief That It’s Him or Someone Better Still
You need to ground yourself in the knowledge that your source of love isn’t reliant on only this person! Your source of connection and affection does not rely on this guy. This is the essence of love abundance.
You have an abundance of opportunity in the world. If you are connected to source, the ultimate source of love, you build the belief that it will be him or someone better still. This belief and faith calms your reaction.
When you calm that fear-reaction, you won’t act on thoughts that tell you:
If he leaves, I’m going to be devastated.
If he leaves, I’m going to have less love in my life.
If he leaves, I’m going to feel really bad.
If he does leave, he’s making room for the right man to come into your life. And if he is a really good man who is just taking that step back to think, your fear reaction will chase him further away than he wanted to go in the first place!
You need to pause here and take a deep breath. Believe that it’s either him or someone even better still.
2 – Pay Attention to How He’s Handling This Moment
How is he showing up right now? How is he communicating when he’s stressed? How is he communicating when he’s uncertain?
You need to pay attention to how he is handling this moment. Because, if you’re looking for a life partner, you want someone who can handle stressful situations with ease and grace. You want someone who will show up for you.
A great partner isn’t just his best self when everything is going well. They need to bring you a level of stability, even when the situation is stressful.
You want to watch how he is handling this moment and really consider whether he is the type of partner you want in your life.
3 – Go Direct
This step is simple but it can be the scariest one. I promise you that this is the best course of action in this situation. Go direct. Go to him and ask him what’s going on.
And it’s very important that you do this in person or over the phone or video. It needs to be a voice conversation, not a text conversation. Go to him and simply ask what his intention is with the relationship.
This is powerful for a few reasons. When you ask that question from a place of love abundance, it’s incredibly sexy. It’s confident. And best of all, you get to see how he responds in that moment.
This gives you some insight into his level of clarity and conviction. You can see how he handles an uncomfortable conversation, which is unbelievably important in a life partner.
Conclusion: Activate the Power of Self-Love
There you have it. The reasons men pull away and the three steps to handle that moment!
Remember, to attract the right guy, you’ve got to be willing to scare off the wrong guy. Half of manifesting the great relationship you want is saying no to the wrong people more quickly.
Are you looking for more support to help you build the confidence you need to manifest love abundance in your life?
If you want the love abundance you deserve, it all starts with you. Your confidence in what a beautiful, worthy woman you are starts with self-love. And to tell you a little secret, that confidence is dead sexy to any guy.
With that confidence, you won’t waste time on the guys who pull back because they’re not into you. And you’ll know exactly how to communicate with the right guy. Grab your free Self-Love Activation Kit to help you elevate your sense of self-worth and increase your ability to give and receive love.