Strong relationships don’t just appear out of thin air. They take work and a give and take. When you have a partner you love, you need to celebrate him. You also need a partner who does the same for you.
As a dating coach, the women I work with are looking for lasting relationships. If that is on your heart, you’re not just looking for ideas to meet a man. You’re looking for ways to build that REAL relationship we all want.
Having a truly happy relationship doesn’t mean that you’ll have perfection in all areas of your life 100% of the time. No matter how great your relationship is, you’ll have ups and downs.
While you can’t expect perfection, if you’re looking for ways to build that strong bond in your relationship, I’ve got your back!
A fulfilling relationship is one where you can share in both the good and bad. This is the kind of bond that lets you split your worries in half, while magnifying your blessings by two. Who doesn’t want that?
You want a partner who makes you feel great about who you are. That starts with you. To have that, you need to be the kind of partner who makes them feel like the best version of themselves.
The thing is, we don’t see a lot of examples of what makes a good relationship. We hear advice about how to find a relationship. But not a lot of focus on the quality of the partnership beyond that.
How do you create a happy, strong, and fulfilling relationship?
Well, the clearer you are, the more power you have. So, let’s get really clear!
Relationship Advice for Women | What Does a Fulfilling Relationship Look Like?
Here’s something I’d like to point out. The world is full of romance. There are romance movies and novels. Even stories that aren’t about romance usually feature some relationships.
There’s a reason for that. It’s the same reason I do what I do. Our love relationships are an important part of what makes our lives happy. They bring us fulfillment and joy. They give us purpose.
But here’s a thing you’ll notice in the industry of romance – they don’t really show you happy and healthy. They show you drama. The exciting parts. The tension.
There are common themes in romance stories meant to build tension. They center on the fun, flirty beginning parts of the relationship. They end when the couple gets together or has some variation of happily ever after.
What about sequels? Well, there has to be a conflict, right? The sequel is all about fixing whatever they screwed up since the last one.
That’s all well and good for a story. You want drama in your entertainment. You don’t want it in your actual relationships.
When we’re bombarded by these types of stories, it’s difficult to visualize a truly healthy relationship. There are so many examples that are common but not healthy. But we know that we can’t reach goals we can’t visualize.
Marriage Satisfaction | What I Learned Through Project Everlasting
When I was still a bachelor in my twenties, my friend Jason and I embarked on Project Everlasting. The premise for the project was simple. We were two bachelors who wanted to see what successful, long-term marriages took.
The concept really came to me because I saw my grandparents who were married for many years. And they were still very much in love. It might sound trite, but I didn’t see that everywhere. In fact, I rarely saw that anywhere.
My friends and I didn’t have a lot of examples of that. My parents were divorced. Many of my friends’ parents were divorced. We weren’t bombarded with images of long-lasting love. It was the opposite.
I thought, “What if I traveled around and talked to people like my grandparents and found out what was so different about their relationships?”
There’s a much longer story with what it took to get the project off the ground. Jason and I traveled around the country with my grandmother, who inspired me to write the book in the first place. It was an amazing experience in so many ways.
One thing that really stood out to me was that these stories were not commonly highlighted anywhere. They weren’t news stories. They weren’t featured in the many hallmark movies.
But they weren’t uncommon, either. Love stories like these exist all around us. But we don’t focus on them. A lot of us don’t see those examples in our everyday lives or pay attention to them.
If you want a strong relationship, you need to learn from healthy examples.
5 Tips for a Fulfilling Relationship
When so many of the examples we see in society are not healthy, it can be difficult to figure out what we’re missing. How do we create that strong and fulfilling relationship of our dreams if we don’t have a clear image of what that looks like?
I want to help you clarify some of that with these tips. And I invite you to have some fun with this. Add to this list with things that are personally attractive to you. Create your ideal list and drop it in your heart.
The more you can visualize what that ideal relationship looks like, the better prepared you will be to manifest it into your world.
1- Put Aside Your Fear of Rejection
The first thing I want to say is that you need to put aside that fear of rejection. Rejection hurts. There’s no doubt about that. But often, we spend so much time trying to avoid rejection. We don’t even pay attention to what we’re saying yes to.
I can’t tell you how often we were rejected when we first pitched Project Everlasting. I also won’t lie and tell you it was fun to work so hard and hear a lot of, “this isn’t right for us.”
The people who passed didn’t see the value of the project. They couldn’t visualize it. Because they were not the right partnership for us or our dream. We needed to find that perfect partner who understood why we were the only guys to tell this story.
If a man rejects you, he’s not the right man. If you’re bending yourself into knots to make sure your partner won’t leave, it’s a good sign it’s not a good fit for you.
If a guy doesn’t think you’re the perfect partner, he’s right. Because he’s not the perfect man for you, either. You want a harmonious match! You don’t want to settle for just anyone.
The goal here is for you to see rejection for what it is. It’s eliminating the wrong men quickly so you can make room for the right one.
2- Honesty Is an Absolute
Honesty is easier said than done. We all know that it’s a bad idea to lie. We all know that honesty is the best policy.
Yeah, it sounds like it should be easy, but there are so many gray areas in life. Just think about it. How many times has someone asked you a question you were afraid to answer? How many times would it be easier to tell a polite lie?
There are so many hidden landmines that derail relationships. It can seem like a better idea to fib or withhold information.
Now, think about how you feel when you find out someone has lied to you. You feel foolish for believing them. It’s insulting to your intelligence. If you’re like me, it feels bad even when it’s a small lie.
I can’t promise you that honesty will always be easy. There will be hard conversations in any good relationship. I can promise you that if you honor your partner with your honest self, you will build a trust that is unshakeable.
It can be scary to let someone see your honest self. Sometimes you will need to take baby steps with some pieces of your story.
A healthy relationship isn’t a destination. It’s a journey you take together. Every part of the journey should be about strengthening that trust. You do that through honesty.
3- Kindness Is Key in Communication
There’s a reason they teach kindness in Kindergarten. It’s one of the most important lessons of life. A lot of people today think that being honest means being snarky. You see it all over social media and in everyday interactions. People can be sarcastic or way too blunt.
There’s a difference between honesty and being mean. While I do always advocate for honesty, I don’t ever advocate for not considering the other person’s feelings.
When you do need to say something upsetting to the other person, make sure you think about how you would feel to hear the same thing.
Sometimes you will need to share hard truths. But you should do it as kindly as possible.
4- Committed Relationships Don’t Mean Perfection
When you’re building that ideal relationship in your head, it’s easy to fall into the trap of imagining your partner as “perfect”. No one is perfect. There is no such thing.
Quirks and flaws are part of life. When you love someone, they can be the most endearing part of their personality. No matter how much you love someone, they will occasionally do things that drive you nuts.
You can’t script or control the way another person acts. Some of being in a healthy relationship is about relinquishing control and honoring the people in your life for who they are.
You might fall into a trap where you imagine conversations and scenarios. Then find it disappointing when the other person doesn’t follow the script in your head.
No relationship or person is perfect. If you stop focusing on a false image of what they should be, you can enjoy the unique and beautiful energy they authentically bring into your life. I want that awesome energy for you!
5- Shared Goals and Independent Boundaries
Healthy relationships include shared goals. There are serious things you should talk about early on to make sure you’re on the same page. Things like wanting to start a family (or not), ideas about where to live, and the way you approach budgeting. You need to know you’re compatible to build a life, right?
Shared goals mean that you can build toward the same agreed-upon future. It doesn’t mean that you need to share everything.
Healthy couples are still independent people. You can each have interests and passions that you don’t share.
Maybe you really love painting and your guy loves football. Maybe you’re a baseball nut and he’s not into sports at all.
You don’t need to do all your activities together. You should support each other’s passions. Whether that means talking about what they like or just giving each other space to explore your own interests.
Fulfilling Relationships Start with You
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “you can’t love another person until you’ve learned to love yourself”. I don’t think that’s entirely true. You can love others even when you don’t treat yourself with the elevated love you deserve.
But, what I will say is that it’s difficult to build a healthy relationship when you don’t have a healthy image of yourself.
Activating your self-love is a tremendous way to increase the amount of love in your life. That means that you’ll have an increased ability to give love to others and it turns on this amazing beacon that attracts love to you.
With your FREE Self-Love Activation Kit, you’ll get powerful affirmations and tools that you need to help increase your feelings of self-love, boost your confidence, and gain expansive opportunities to give and receive love in your life.