A Surprising Tool to Stay Calm and Overcome Challenges with Ease

“You have power over your own mind – not over events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

Marcus Aurelius

When I learned how to apply this quote to my life, I gained the ability to stay calm even when my circumstances seemed overwhelming. I also learned to use a simple mind hack to shift my thoughts and turn serious problems into unappreciated blessings, while also finding unexpected solutions along the way.

Today, I’m going to tell you how I did it, and how you can do the same in your life so that you can overcome any obstacle and turn it into opportunity.

It started with a strange lesson I didn’t understand: You have power over your mind

Back in 1971, a friend brought me to a lecture where I learned a bizarre success tip that would completely change my life.

The lesson was: “Nothing is bad unless you think it’s bad.”

At the age of twenty-two, I thought that advice was ridiculous. I crossed my arms and thought, “That’s not true – there are obviously bad things in the world, like war and car wrecks.”

Knowing how illogical his comment sounded, the lecturer said, “I know what you’re thinking, and I agree – at the level of fact, there are many things we’d like to change. But you have complete authority over your experience, no matter how it happens or appears.”

“Here’s an experiment, “ he continued, “…the next time something happens in your life that seems really bad, hit your ‘Internal Pause Button’ and wait three days before panicking. During those three days, turn the volume up on your curiosity, and ask yourself, ‘What good might I derive from this situation?’”

At the time, I didn’t take the advice very seriously. I left the lecture feeling unimpressed, not realizing that it would be only a couple days before I’d need to put the tools I’d just received to the test.

A Roman Emperor Overrun by Tragic External Events

The idea of having power over one’s mind didn’t originate with the lecture I attended in 1971.

In fact, you may have noticed the quote I used at the top of this post. You may have even heard it before!

It was penned by Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor from 161-180 C.E.. During his time as emperor, he endured no shortage of negative events.

Marcus was often sick, with what historians believe was likely a chronic ulcer. His wife cheated on him with a gladiator. Eight of his fourteen children did not survive. His reign was marked by war and a number of uprisings. His own officials rebelled against him, one of whom was also his most trusted general and closest friend.

Did I mention there was also a plague that wiped out 10 million Roman soldiers and citizens? 

It would have been easy for Marcus to give up in the face of such adversity.

Instead, his diaries from the time reveal that he committed himself to learning how to be more just, more virtuous, and wiser despite the pressure of events.

Marcus relied on his strength of will to remain serene and confident no matter what difficulties he had to navigate.

He believed that the power of the mind was the most effective tool he could use when challenges arose.

Nothing Is Bad Unless You Think It’s Bad

At the time I had attended the lecture in 1971, I didn’t know about Marcus Aurelius or his writings.

I left the event unaware that the next step to learning this strange, new lesson was right around the corner.

A few days after the lecture, my husband lost his job

At 5:00 p.m. on a Tuesday night, the man to whom I was married at the time came home looking deeply upset. Shaken and ashen-faced, he explained that there had been a big layoff at his workplace. 100 people had lost their jobs, including him.

I immediately started to panic. The lecturer had claimed that nothing is bad, but this seemed really, objectively horrible! How were we going to pay our bills and put food on the table?

It seemed impossible to stay calm when it was so easy to imagine the detrimental impact a loss like this could have on our family. 

But then the rest of the lesson came back to me: “Hit your internal pause button, and wait three days.” I wasn’t sure how to do that – back then, we didn’t even have pause buttons on cassette machines, let alone other devices or ourselves!

I decided to do it by delaying panic – it was Tuesday, so I chose to wait until Friday before I would let myself get really scared. In the meantime, it was time to turn up my curiosity.

You have power over your mind…

We put the lecturer’s advice to use and came up with a plan.

My husband and I sat down with a pen and paper to explore possibilities.

We listed everything we could think of that would turn this challenging situation into a positive, even the small things.

This actually turned out to be easier for him than it was for me – I had trouble thinking about anything besides how bad the situation was, but he found some good in it right away.

If he could work closer to home, and didn’t have to drive 1.5 hours to work each way, that would be good. And what if he could make more money and work shorter hours?

So we began to think – what businesses are closer to home? What work could he do for these businesses that would be highly paid and require fewer hours than he used to work?

Because we were thinking about, paying attention to, and focusing on what possible good could come from that situation, different ideas began to come into our awareness. 

I began to feel more hopeful.

“I’ll talk to you on Friday at 5:00.”

Over the next 3 days, panic rose over and over, but now I had a tool to deal with it. I could say to that panic, “I’ll talk to you on Friday at 5:00.”

I was committed to staying in the present moment. Creating a standing appointment with my panic for a specific date and time in the future is a form of cognitive defusion.

Cognitive defusion is a tool sometimes used in therapy to change the impact a thought from the subconscious mind has on our feelings and behavior.

Every time a thought arose that triggered a sense of panic, I reminded myself about the upcoming appointment I had created in my mind – not to ignore or pretend that feeling didn’t exist, but to give myself the time to experiment with the hard work of practicing power over my mind.

I acknowledged the thought and still did not let it dictate how I would feel or behave in the moment. It would have to wait until its appointment time. 

Reminding myself that I would address the panic on Friday at 5:00 allowed me to redirect my focus and energy to being curious instead of engaging in the panic.  

As we did this, we started to come up with places where he could apply for a job, and then he put our plan into action.

On Wednesday, he submitted his application for his chosen position. On Thursday, he got a call back. And Thursday evening, he walked in the door, completely transformed from the ashen-faced man I’d seen just two days prior.

He’d gotten a job that was closer to home, where he could work shorter hours, make more money, and ride his bike to work.

And I’d gotten the revelation that, for the first time in my life, I had not suffered while waiting for a circumstance to change before I could feel better. I could schedule my panic for a later time, rather than letting it take hold of me.

Power over your mind: How can you apply this to your life?

We all encounter challenging circumstances in our lives. But it’s up to us to determine whether those circumstances will master us, or we’ll master our circumstances and turn our obstacles into opportunities for blessings.

This is part of having a growth mindset.

So the next time something “bad” happens, and you begin to panic, I encourage you to:

• Take a deep breath
• Hit your internal pause button
• Wait 3 days before you revisit the panic

If fear attempts to take hold during those three days, tell it, “I’ll talk to you in three days.”

While you’re waiting, don’t just wait mindlessly – turn up the volume on your curiosity, and write down every good thing you might derive from the experience.

Then, once you have your list of good things that could happen, ask yourself: “What is the first step I could take, right now, to make that happen?” Take that step right away, even if you can’t see the entire path.

What about the rest of the path to success?

You now have a tool for trading panic for hope and turning setbacks into blessings, even if the situation seems objectively terrible.

But what about the rest of your path to success?

How do you choose goals that aren’t just GOOD, but are also aligned with your highest purpose and dreams, and that will help you create lasting happiness, fulfillment, and abundance?

And how do you choose actions that will get you quick and lasting results, so you can create a life you LOVE living?

To help you do this, I’ve created a free resource you can download and start using within minutes to start building the life of your dreams, no matter what your circumstances look like at this moment.

I called it Stronger than Circumstance, because I believe you truly are stronger than any circumstance, situation, or condition you may be facing right now. 

Inside, you’ll discover: 

• The reason why we create patterns in our lives, even when they aren’t what we want
• The Invisible Laws of Success you probably aren’t using, but should be
• 3 proven strategies to reset your mindset and inspire you to take action now!

Download the free eBook now.