Brave Thinkers spend a lot of time discussing paradigms.
As you move through the universal laws on your journey to discover deeper knowledge and create a life you love living, your paradigms become very important. If you want to change your life, you need to change your paradigms.
It’s not enough to understand what a paradigm is, you need to be able to identify them in your own life. The best way to identify and then shift paradigms is by seeing examples.
Paradigms 101 gives you a full explanation of what the four categories of paradigms are. I’ve included real world examples from people just like you, from all over the world.
They’ve taken the steps to identify and shift their paradigms. And it’s allowed them to create a life they love living.
Paradigms 101: The Four Categories of Paradigms
There are four basic categories that paradigms fall into. Any belief that serves as an obstacle to your dreams can fit into one of these categories. Because many of these beliefs masquerade as common knowledge, it can be difficult to identify them.
At the Brave Thinking Institute, we call these paradigms, “common hour thinking”. If you want to live an extraordinary life to your full potential, you need to replace those constrictive paradigms with expansive ones.
The Four Categories of Paradigms:
- Fear of Being Fundamentally Flawed
- Fear of Loyalty and Abandonment
- Fear of the Burden of Success
- Fear of Outshining
There are three basic steps to shift your constrictive paradigms. First, notice what you’re noticing. The examples help you clearly see the paradigms at work for other people, and how they changed them.
Next, you need to interrupt the paradigm. To do this, you need to recognize the truth that you want to replace the current paradigm with. It’s not as simple as naming it. You need to spend time visualizing and putting yourself in the frequency of this new paradigm.
Third, you need to take action to move your growth in the direction of your new paradigm!
1 – The Fear of Being Fundamentally Flawed
The fear of being flawed is a common paradigm.
If you’ve ever had imposter syndrome, you understand the fear of being fundamentally flawed. It tells you that you’re a fraud, even though all evidence shows you that it’s not true.
Some internal language in this category of paradigms includes:
I am not enough
I am not smart enough.
I am not talented enough.
I don’t have what it takes.
There’s something else you should know about the fear of being fundamentally flawed. No one is immune to this paradigm. Even successful and brilliant people sometimes need to shift these paradigms.
For instance, John Steinbeck wrote these words in his journal:
“I am not a writer. I’ve been fooling myself and other people.”
He wrote those words while he was writing The Grapes of Wrath. He was already successful at that point in his career!
2 – Fear of Loyalty and Abandonment
The people in your life have an amazing influence on you. Your goals and success impact them and their opinion impacts you.
The paradigms in this category include phrases like:
My friends might not approve.
My family will reject me.
I might have to find new friends.
The paradigms that keep you grounded in a life that does not serve you can be difficult when they’re tied to the people you love.
One thing to remember is that the people who love you, want success and joy for you. And with more abundance you can serve these people to a greater degree.
3 – Fear of the Burden of Success
There are responsibilities that go along with any type of success. You might not fully recognize this, but your paradigm may be a fear of being able to cope with these extra challenges. In fact, many people’s paradigms reflect this simply because they fear what they don’t know.
Some common language for this category includes:
Someone might steal from me.
I might be criticized by others.
I have to worry about complex taxes and paying more in taxes.
I have to worry about regulations.
I have to hire a team.
If I fail, everyone will know.
These paradigms make it seem difficult or impossible to reach your goals. You might worry you don’t have the funds or expertise to meet the demands from the success you crave.
4 – Fear of Outshining
Fear of outshining is similar to the second category. With this type of paradigm, you’re worried about how your success will impact the people who are close to you.
Common language for this paradigm category includes:
My spouse’s dreams are not as big as mine.
My parents and siblings will feel bad if I make more money than them.
My friends will be jealous or resentful if I leave them behind.
Mat Boggs recently told a story about this paradigm at work in his life. When he worked in sales in his early 20s, Mat was on track to make $1 million in sales in his first year. It was a goal he’d been working toward.
Toward the end of the year, his progress completely stalled. When he pinpointed the paradigm, he realized that he was worried his other colleagues and friends weren’t selling nearly as much. His paradigm was making him sabotage his own success. Once he recognized that, Mat was able to not only make his goal, but recognized the falseness of that paradigm.
101 Paradigms | Real World Examples by Category
The following paradigms are examples that Brave Thinking students have identified.
These are regular people, from every walk of life. Identifying their paradigms was the first step in living the life that they love living.
Fear of Being Fundamentally Flawed
- I have a fear of failure and it feels like inferiority.
- I don’t have a college education.
- Without college, the opportunities open to me are limited.
- My negative thoughts are that I’m not good enough.
- Not worthy of being loved.
- Not successful.
- Working hard in a time-consuming job with low income.
- Being a failure because by now I should have had a career and family of my own.
- Will I get a new job if I quit the current one?
- Is my current location the right location for me and do people like me?
- I am a failure as a person and as a woman
- I am unworthy.
- I don’t deserve a good life with good loving relationships
- I am on the outside looking in at everyone else living positive lives.
- Am worthless
- I can’t get a job because I dropped out of college so I can’t have a career
- I will always be poor
- I will never be happy.
- I am not loved by anyone
- I am unlovable and unloving.
- I act superior to others, which makes them dislike me.
- I am angry
- I am impatient.
- I am frustrated.
- I’m not enough
- I’m not worth it
- Change is hard
- Others can change, be, do and have what they want, but not me
- My negative is worrying too much about what other people think and not having enough faith in myself.
- Not enough
- I am not worthy.
More on the Fear of Being Fundamentally Flawed category:
- I don’t know enough yet.
- People will think I am crazy.
- What if I forget everything I know?
- What if I go about it the wrong way?
- I did make great strides in my personal character, behavior, and attitudes but haven’t taken the tangible step to get myself out of the rut.
- Maybe honestly, I’m a little lazy
- I’m not smart enough.
- I’m a failure.
- I’ll never be out of debt.
- I’ll always live paycheck to paycheck.
- I’m not capable of supporting myself.
- I am not worthy
- I will always be alone
- I will never find a meaningful romantic partner
- The story i have created drives outcomes I do not want
- I self-sabotage.
- I never have enough time to do everything.
- I can’t be bothered taking the time to do things.
- I wish I had more money.
- I have to keep working to get enough money for what I want to do.
- I need more time, energy & money to do all the things I would like to do.
- What if I’m not talented enough to succeed?
- I don’t think I’m smart enough.
- There’s something wrong with me. Everyone else is happier.
- I’m not as good or organized as other moms my age.
- I have no idea how other people run a business and have a family. I can’t do all of it without failing.
- I’m not worth the trouble for someone to be in a relationship with.
- My disability makes me unworthy.
- I’m not a person anyone will love.
Fear of Loyalty and Abandonment
- My father won’t understand if I choose a career in the arts.
- My husband won’t be happy about the amount of time I need to spend building my business.
- My best friend hates the man I’m dating. I’m afraid if I take the relationship further, I’ll lose my friend.
- My friends won’t be able to keep up with me financially if I reach my dreams.
- None of my family members are financially successful. Will they be jealous or upset? Or will they be mad if I can do nice things for myself?
- My two best buddies started in marketing at the same time I did. But I’ve been moving up faster and I feel like we’re drifting apart because of it.
- My boyfriend says he’s supportive but I have a nagging feeling that he won’t be when I reach my goal.
- My brother has always been more successful. He won’t like it if we’re on the same level.
- My friend doesn’t support my business goals. She thinks it’s a pipedream and her negativity is hurting our friendship.
- If I build the kind of success in this business that I want to, none of the people I grew up with will feel comfortable with me.
- My mom won’t like the man I want to marry.
- If I pursue this dream, my friends and family will think I’m crazy.
Fear of the Burden of Success
- I overthink everything, from my last meal to my last conversation.
- I really want to open my own restaurant but I don’t know anything about licenses or the laws in my area or how to incorporate.
- I’ve been running a solo business for a few years and it’s okay. But I really want it to be a bigger success. I just don’t know how to handle the responsibilities of hiring people and being responsible for them. What if the business doesn’t succeed and they’re all counting on me?
- I don’t have enough skills to run a business.
- Here’s the dilemma, I haven’t a clue as to how to make, earn, acquire that money.
- I’ve had a lot of jobs. I am at an age where I should be retiring but instead I’m trying to figure out a new career, business or source of income.
- Nothing jumps out at me, nothing calls to me and I know enough that to make a business work
- There are a lot of regulatory requirements in my industry that I don’t understand.
- If I get as famous as I want to be, people will nitpick my work and dig up dirt about me.
- Too many people will depend on me if I build the business as much as I want.
- I can’t get past the planning stage of this business. I don’t know how to do all of the different jobs to run it.
- There are too many hats to wear to do this successfully.
- I don’t know anyone who’s tried a business like mine and I need a mentor to teach me.
Fear of Outshining
- I’m having a difficult time with my goal because it feels selfish. How much money do you need?
- My dream goal would be more money than my husband makes and I’m afraid he’ll be upset.
- My friends don’t strive for improvements in their lives. I’m worried if I succeed they will be jealous or angry.
- My sister doesn’t have her life together and I think she would feel bad if I outshined her.
- My mom worked super hard her whole life but she doesn’t like rich people and I think she would be upset if I reached my goals and had great wealth.
- My mom constantly told us that you’re not supposed to pray for money. Now I feel bad about any monetary success.
- If I follow my dreams, my 5 year old business will be more successful than my dad’s 35 year old business. He will never say it but that has to hurt him.
- If I keep moving up financially, I’ll drift away from my friends and I don’t want to.
- My cousin has had a really rough few years. I feel bad reaching for my dreams when he is having such a hard time.
- None of my old friends will want to talk to me when I’m more successful.
- I’ve secretly wanted to be a scriptwriter for a long time, but my brother tried acting and failed. He’s said for years the field is too competitive and he’ll be upset if I make it.
- I want to be a bestselling author but my husband thinks writing is a waste of my time and I really feel like he’s just upset I might be good at it.
Ready to Shift Your Paradigms with Mary Morrissey?
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