Here’s How I Almost Compromised My Own Happy Relationship…
…and The One Simple Shift to Allow for Much More Joy in Life.
There’s a “thermostatic setting” within each of us that governs how much good, fun, love and life we allow ourselves to experience and enjoy.
In order to change our thermostatic setting, let’s first take a look at what a thermostat is.
A thermostat is a cybernetic system that measures variance.
For example, we have a thermostat in our home that controls the temperature of our house, and we control that temperature by setting the thermostat in the wall.
Say we set the temperature to 72 degrees in the summer. The thermostat reads the variance in the atmosphere and if it gets too warm, the air conditioner will be triggered to kick on the cool air. If it gets too cold, it will turn off.
Just like the thermostat in your home, the thermostat within you is set to a certain amount of fun, love or happiness, and it kicks on to try to keep you at those levels. In order to increase the overall good in your life, you must change your thermostatic setting.
And you absolutely can change your thermostatic setting. Because here’s the truth: In spirit, there’s no limit to the amount of freedom, flow or joy in life!
Here’s a story about how my own thermostatic setting threatened a very happy relationship of mine, and how I was able to reset it…
I’m happily married to a wonderful man named Joe Dickey. We’ve been together for over a decade now.
About seven or eight months after we got married, we went away on a little weekend vacation together.
One morning, we sat on the patio drinking coffee, looking out onto the lake and having a great conversation.
And I thought to myself right then,
“I have never been this happy in my whole life!”
Now, at that point, I had a highly successful career, wonderful children, many great friends and an all-around lovely, fulfilling life…
But at that exact moment, I was experiencing the deep satisfaction that comes from truly and spiritually connecting with another human being – a partner.
I had never had the passion, love, commitment, support and FUN I had dreamed of until then, and I was just feeling so happy.
Joe got up at one point and went back inside and I sat there, marveling at how amazing I felt.
After a little while, I got up and went inside too. As I did, I noticed a sock on the floor.
I began thinking to myself,
“Oh my gosh, why is that sock on the floor? Joe is such a neat and orderly person, and I’ve never seen him throw a sock on the floor before! But maybe he was just being that way at the beginning of our relationship and he’s really a very messy person and now that we’re married I’ll start to see that!”
Now thankfully, for many years, I had been practicing and teaching a technique for identifying and repatterning thoughts…
This technique is what I like to call “notice what you’re noticing,” which is a way to practice mindfulness.
So I paused, stepped back and noticed the thoughts I was having.
You see, when we notice the train tracks our thoughts are on, we can decide if we want to go where that train is taking us. And we can either continue on, or stop the thoughts in their tracks.
After I did this, I realized,
“Mary, look! You were just thinking about how you’re happier than you’ve ever been. You’re not used to this level of happiness. So you walked in the room and your internal thermostat tried to dial your happiness down to the normal level you’re used to!”
I had found something “wrong” in my incredibly happy relationship and run with it.
Not only was there a sock on the floor… this was maybe going to become a new trend… and maybe Joe wasn’t the person I thought he was!
But once I realized what I was doing, that my internal thermostatic setting was trying to keep my happiness at a certain level, I was able to stop these thoughts and simply embrace the happiness I was feeling.
By doing so, I reset my thermostat for a greater amount of love and happiness in my life.
And now back to your regularly scheduled blogging!
We all have edges for how much happiness, success and fulfillment we allow ourselves, but when we come up against them, we can CHOOSE to re-pattern our thoughts…
When you start to think to yourself:
- “This happy relationship will certainly sour”
- “This amount of success is too good to be true”
- “I wonder when the other shoe is going to drop”
notice what you’re noticing and interrupt your thoughts.
Take pause and consider that this is perhaps just your thermostatic setting seeking to prevent you from experiencing more love, more success and more happiness than you’re used to.
And then say to yourself,
“Nothing’s wrong here, this is just more joy than I’m used to. And you know what? I’m going to make this happiness, freedom or success my new normal.”
And that’s how you reset your thermostatic setting in order to attract, foster and enjoy MORE good in life! You can choose happiness!
Now here’s a question for you…
…and a FREE gift that will help you rise above limited thinking and attract greater abundance and joy into your life!
What’s one of your thermostatic settings that’s kept you from having a life you love living?
- Has it been around money?
- Has it been around love?
- That all the good ones are taken?
- Or that you can’t be a great parent AND a successful entrepreneur?
What’s the thermostatic setting that may have dialed you down a bit and one you’re ready to change?
Go ahead and post it in the comments section below. I’d love to hear from you!
And if you’d like to discover how to overcome limiting thoughts and patterns in order to attract and enjoy greater abundance and joy in all areas of your life ‒ my new online masterclass is for you!
Because not one of us wants to be wealthy in one area of our lives (like our careers) and bankrupt in another (like our relationships).
So for the three keys to total fulfillment in the areas of money, health, career and relationships, click here to register for the free masterclass now >>